


Avoir La Foi

by DaisyQueenYisel



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Gen, and the relationships are like barely hinted at so don't expect too much of those here, idk if you would call this angst but here is your forewarning i guess, shoutout to the sad kids, this is just good ol' story right here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-09 00:04:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6881083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaisyQueenYisel/pseuds/DaisyQueenYisel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fighting it is never easy for Adrien. Depression never made things easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Avoir La Foi

**Author's Note:**

> this really is just a vent work, but i liked how it came out in the end. Shoutout to @callingversatile for being an awesome beta!

The wood glowed with a sunset’s warmth, crackling quietly inside of the iron pit and softly blowing away bits of glowing ash into the night sky. The little bonfire had cooled down to a comforting glow inside of its resting place on Marinette’s balcony, and the night was filled with the potential for great memories. The sound of Manon making silly voices and hand shadows along with Alya, twinkled into Adrien’s ears, along with the soft laughter of Nino and Marinette following after a particularly silly part of their make-believe story.

 

“‘No, Ladybug will save me!’” Manon cried triumphantly as she bobbed her hand away from Nino’s. She turned and gazed expectantly at Marinette, who hummed in response, still seated in her chair.

 

“‘That’s right, Manon!’” Marinette said, jumping out of her seat and joining into the story. Nino cheered as she tackled Alya onto the ground and pulled Manon into the violent cuddles, the three giggling uncontrollably as they tickled one another. 

 

Adrien pulled the ends of his blankets closer to his cheeks, the soft texture of Marinette’s handmade blanket pleasant against his skin, and he closed his eyes for a little while, hoping to remember the scene before him, and to stop the hot tears forming on the edges of his eyes.

 

Marinette had actually called him over to help him care for Manon while both her parents and Manon’s mother were away, and Adrien didn’t really know what to say at first. A yes coming out of his lips before he could think wasn’t what he was expecting either. Neither was the consent of his father to stay over at her house, just like Alya and Nino were going to. Luck really was starting to favor him then, and he wasn’t sure whether it was his Lady’s influence, or the universe’s way of compensating for all the misfortune he’d been through in his life.

 

“Wow, look at how high those glowy things go!” Manon exclaimed, and Adrien opened his eyes to see Manon gazing at the ashes that floated sky-high. He followed her gaze to be met with what seemed like dozens of floating ashes speckling a cloudy night with their own set of stars.

 

But that didn’t really matter; he just knew that he was actually outside, with friends who invited him over, and for once, he didn’t feel like he was fighting to breathe easy, despite the occasional bits of ash and smoke that welled into the air around him.

 

Adrien closed his eyes again, but this time, he didn’t try to fight the trails of tears that rolled down his cheeks, carving a path on his cheeks as they made their way down.

 

Fighting it is never easy for Adrien. Depression never made things easy. People have told him that he’s had plenty of reasons to be this way, to be sad. But it’s not just about being sad, really. It’s about that emptiness you feel in your chest, the fact that you can look back on your whole life and pinpoint every single mistake you made, the feeling you get when you meet someone new and convince yourself that they’ll probably never love you the way you know you’ll end up loving them.

 

You cry over the smallest things. You laugh over the smallest things. You hold back when you should let go, and you feel like you let your guard down right when you should have kept yourself locked up, sealed away into that mask that everyone knows, everyone sees, and that no one cares about, really. 

 

Fighting it has never been easy for Adrien. Depression never made things easy.

 

But that doesn’t mean Adrien didn’t find reasons to keep trying.

 

Adrien heard Marinette snort, her obvious tell that she was failing to stifle the giggling fit taking over her as she made her way back to her seat. She smiled and glanced at him only to freeze, staring at what he knew was the streaks of tears on his face.

 

Unwanted. Unloved. Lonely in a world full of people that just wouldn’t leave him alone. 

 

And yet he was wanted, loved, acknowledged in this small haven, this little sanctuary he called his group of friends; Alya, Nino, and Marinette. Ladybug was an entirely different experience whenever he was around her, but something about the way Alya teased him whenever she knew he was losing the fight within, something about the way Nino told stories about their little ordinary adventures together, something about the way Marinette always knew what to say, knew how he felt, and stays friends with him anyways. There’s just something about these three that Adrien doesn’t exactly understand, but knows he doesn’t need to.

 

“A-Adrien, are you okay?” Marinette said, changing course and heading over to him instead. Alya and Nino perked up from their teasing bout with each other, but Adrien remained focused on Marinette’s concerned face.

 

Adrien knows he doesn’t have to understand love; he just has to enjoy every single moment he can in it.

 

Marinette rested a hand on his cheek and looked at him worriedly, and Adrien felt two separate hands on both his shoulders. Alya and Nino smiled at him supportively, and Adrien smiled, uncaring of how silly he may have looked with another wave of tears pouring down his face as he grinned the brightest, most genuine smile he’s ever managed since his depression began.

 

“Not really. But you guys make it okay,” he said, his voice wavering as he looked at his friends. Manon shrieked and jumped onto him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

 

“Adrien, don’t cry! It’s okay, you can play with us too!” She said. She pushed herself up and pulled the Chat Noir doll out of her back pocket and shoved it near his face.

 

“Here, you can be Chat Noir, okay? Just don’t cry anymore.”

 

“Yeah, come on, Adrien!” Nino said, patting his friend on the back. “Yeah, you and I could be Ladybug and Chat Noir-”

 

“-Hey! I thought I was Ladybug!” Marinette complained.

 

“-Alya and Marinette could be akumas, and Manon is the princess we gotta save. You up for it, man?”

 

There seems like there’ll never be a true escape from his depression. But there are moments when it goes away, and in those moments, when Adrien felt like he could breathe easily and think clearly, the love pent up inside of him pours out, and he has stopped berating himself for it. These three love him for who he really is, and that’s all he needs to know.

 

Adrien looked at Manon, who stared at him intently, anxiously awaiting his answer, and his smile turned into a toothy, sly grin. He took the doll from Manon’s hands and exclaimed dramatically,

 

“‘My Lady, the princess is in grave danger!’”

 

Manon squealed as Alya began to growl menacingly at her, and she leapt off of Adrien as Alya gave chase, with Nino following after as he tossed Marinette the Ladybug doll in a last minute decision to return Marinette’s rightful place in their game. Marinette smiled and grabbed Adrien’s hand, pulling him up, and Adrien wiped the streaks of tears on his face, smiling as he felt the last traces of his depression slip away for the night. Fears forgotten, smiles all around, and his heart finally letting the walls around it down, Adrien laughed.

**Author's Note:**

> yeah, it's late and I'll update tous les memes at some other point in time. But for now, I hope you enjoyed this lil fic o' mine.


End file.
